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Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
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2:38 pm - Mentally blonde strikes again!
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OMFGWTFAGHHH!!! x.x People like me shouldn't be allowed to organize things!!! I've just had a mad couple of hours trying to find my school sign up papers, OMFG, they were cleaned AWAY somehow before we went off on our vacation! I knew I should've taken care of it *before* we left, but no.. I was thinking "well, I could really use that extra money for buying cool British things with!".. -.- Stupid, stupid, stupid..!!!
I come back home and I can't find the papers that I NEED to continue being a student! 0.0 Not that I desperately need to study, but there'd be a huge amount of trouble to suddenly change my status to unemployed/self-employed (self-employed is the correct term, but if I don't bring in enough money to support myself then I might as well be called unemployed. -.-) and I'd have to make a special deal to keep living here for another year (student housing) while I find a cheap place to live elsewhere and.. and.. and.... 0.0 I was counting on taking courses, making connections, having fun, being creative..!! I finally did find the papers and it's all paid for, and tomorrow I need to head to the student services people to make sure it's all in order. Fricken 'eck.. I was completely losing it over here. x.x Never again, never again, never again..!!!!
current mood:  shocked
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| Monday, September 28th, 2009
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7:56 pm - Trip into the Past
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While reading some rather old entries I've discovered two things about my past self..
1) My pisces moon used to be a lot worse. These days I'm not hurting like that and I'm confident in that I can handle conflicts, aggression and meaniness. I'm not as insecure, and I'm not as angry about the world falling below my expectations of peace and harmony. I'm still not bulletproof, but I'm getting there.
2) Wow, talk about Mercury in Scorpio. 0.0 Although I'm sure I didn't mean to be so poisonous and angry and pissy with how I expressed things, I clearly have too many rant entries and not enough moments where I'm expressing the peace. XD Scary to read. :P
I wasn't aware of how much has changed during the years until after my little review of past entries. I feel a bit bad about how much I used this place to cleanse from negativity without taking the time to also journal down the positivies, the harmonies. If I didn't know myself and my past I would draw wrong conclusions about my moods back then. Hmm. These days I barely write at all. I fear whatever I write will come back to haunt me - or worse, kick me up hard the behind. ;) Still, it's good to have a record of major changes..
Things are a bit in limbo over here at the moment, so this is not a good time to post about major changes. There's been some "interesting developments" and it seems I just need to lick my wounds and walk on. Such is life, I suppose.. I had wished for a better ending, but sometimes we don't get a choice in such matters. On the up side, life always opens up new doors..
current mood:  calm
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| Monday, August 31st, 2009
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9:22 pm - History
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0.o Reading through my old entries I'm struck by the desire to censor things that now feel embarrassing and potentially damaging to my image. Luckily the most personal things are private, but it makes things a bit lopsided somehow. It's strange to remember the person I was years ago and the things I wanted then.
Things have changed a lot since last year. I don't need to hide that I like her, don't need to hide that she's a she, and the boyfriend issue has been taken care of. Now it's just a matter of clearing up what the heck to do with the future, what kind of career to go for. (Some other things are in chaos and it's not like my lovelife is in working order, but I'm sure that will fix itself somehow at some point.)
current mood: calm
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| Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
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1:04 am - Holy bad luck, Bat..girl?
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My computer broke! 0.0 Poor Josie!! (That's her name, Josie Packard-Bell. *nod*) She'll likely need a new power thingy, hoping to get her fixed in April. For now I have much worse bills to pay, so poor Josie will have to lie in a coma for now. *sniffle*
And on that note, I've been so busy worrying about jobs and crap that I haven't even been by neopets to get my daily stocks for a few days! 0.0 You know something's wrong when I'm not even picking up my stocks. :P Was thinking of looking up the TOPS board but found I was too stressed to talk about something positive and I'd hate to go there and bring people down. 0.0
Some wonderfully friendly people at a gardening community helped me out figuring out how to start on gardening in the UK, so that's definitely in my future plans, assuming I won't find something that will keep me here in Finland for longer. (Gack, I think I forgot to thank them for their help!?? Oh no!! 0.0)
I'm trying to plan out my future children's book.. Researching styles, stories, etc.. I might not ever be able to get it published, but it'll be cool to do it. :)
current mood:  stressed
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| Thursday, December 18th, 2008
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7:57 pm
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Your result for The Philosophy Test...
SocraticYou scored a ### from -60 to 60. You have a classic value system, a combination of reason, logic but a humility to the state or other institution. Socratics are almost mystics in that they believe there is something wholeheartidly more important going on behind the scenes of this world, almost a 'spirit' world where the mind lies. Their philosophy is driven by idealising this other world. Obviously, Socrates was a socratic.
Take The Philosophy Test at HelloQuizzy
And it says..
"You scored 12 on Virtue Points, higher than 92% of your peers."
That sounds scary. :o Virtue Points sound like a good thing, damnit, and 92% have less of them than me!?? :P I think I answered this quiz a bit scatteredly (not a word, I know), I bet I almost tied with some other philosophy..
current mood: bitchy
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| Saturday, November 29th, 2008
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3:11 pm - Quiz
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Found HERE. :)
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| You Scored as Healer You are a Healer Empath. You take in the energy of others and transmute it. You trigger transformation in others and free trapped energy. You are capable of great healing abilities. You walk between the worlds and bring waves of healing energy with your presence. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/)
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| Thursday, November 20th, 2008
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2:12 am - Essays, essays..
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Need to catch up on reading journals and answering messages and all sorts.. Spent all evening completing an assignment that's due tomorrow, but the 8 page essay (the actual important assignment) I've written nothing on apart from a couple of notes. Well.. I can magic up 8 pages tomorrow before 3 pm, right? Right?? 0.0
On the up side, the course I'm taking about women's bodies has been very enlightening. Lots of stuff to get shocked and angry over, stuff that makes one want to change the world.. :) Seems being attractive is a major thing we just can't escape somehow, and we live in a world where being really attractive is so hard to reach. Is it supposed to be that way..?
I'm very tired..
z.z
current mood:  sleepy
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| Sunday, November 16th, 2008
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3:12 am - Indecisive
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On a random note..
OMG! A song about libras!? :o
KATY PERRY "Hot'n'cold"
:P
For the life of me I don't know why in the end of the vid she's going through with it. :P Dang this girl has a knack for putting out catchy tunes..
current mood: amused
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| Saturday, November 15th, 2008
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8:24 pm - New picture posted at DA
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Took me all day to make, needs some edits, but man oh man I'm sick of working on it! :P
A new mouse picture..
http://yayjennies.deviantart.com/art/Will-it-grow-big-and-strong-103657068
Of course, I should've been doing schoolwork. Got a major essay to complete, and my brilliant strategy is to avoid the issue altogether. :P
The full moon is up, I'm lost in daydreams and despair, alternating. Good enough, not good enough, interesting, no - boring, she likes me, no - she can't, they appreciate my efforts, no - they don't. It just goes on and on. The moon isn't in gemini, is it!? :P
*goes check* ...Holy crap, it IS!! :P
Edit:
I'm not an expert in astrology, so I'm just talking about the gemini moon lightheartedly, remembering what Chris said about "the evil twin" and remembering the dualistic nature often associated with geminis. :) What a gemini moon REALLY means... um... don't ask me.
current mood: frustrated
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| Friday, November 14th, 2008
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9:54 pm - Quizzes!
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Yessss, I started doing one quiz and then I COULDN'T STOP!!! :P These quizzes are a menace I tells ya!!
You Are 86% Thankful
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You're an incredibly thankful person, and everyone around you feels very appreciated.
You inspire people to be more optimistic, forgiving, and grateful.
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Your Independence Level: High
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You are extremely self reliant and autonomous.
You are definitely into doing your own thing.
But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it.
You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.
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You Are the Half Moon Pose
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You are able to look at the world from many points of view.
You don't mind if everything is turned upside down.
No matter what life throws at you, you always seem to regain your balance.
You don't really get stressed out. You just try to change your perspective!
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The background for taking the following ones is that my sun is in Libra, my moon is in Pisces and my ascendant is Sagittarius. So I should be mainly a good mix of these, yes? :)
You are 60% Pisces
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You are 60% Pisces
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You are 67% Sagittarius
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You are 67% Sagittarius
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You are 73% Libra
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You are 73% Libra
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Oh dear to the next one. ;) Well, the water signs can be tricky, that's for sure! My bf is a Pisces, but his rising sign is Sagittarius at least.
Never Date a Cancer
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Clingy, emotional, and very private - it's hard to escape a Cancer's clutches.
And while Cancer will want to know everything about you, they're anything but open in return.
Instead try dating: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, or Aquarius
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Your True Love Is a Sagittarius
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Why you'll love a Sagittarius:
Deep and philosophical, you'll love getting lost in hours of conversation with your Sag.
Your Sagittarius is curious and adventurous enough to keep you interested... not an easy task!
Why a Sagittarius will love you:
You're passionate about a few important issues, a kind of depth that Sagittarius finds very attractive.
You're outgoing, flexible, and up for almost anything. You and your Sag will have tons of adventures together.
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Yessss, sounds good to me. :P
current mood: amused
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| Thursday, November 13th, 2008
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2:05 pm - Online
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So, overview of my online life..
The Site Fights: Was going to quit it, I've lost faith in that place completely due to the management. Even though things have improved significantly I can't help but feel it's not the place for me, it's not my spiritual home, it's not a place where people like I should be, and I'm still recovering from the burns of the past. Still I haven't left because I'd leave my friend in trouble if I did. Bah. Not sure where that's going, but it's eating up part of my online time.
Neopets: Got my side account back from suspension but it's only a matter of time before I'll slip up again and post something wrong by accident. That account of mine has the lab ray on it, what a shame to see that go. :P How long will it be before I'll accidentally lose my main? I stay on neopets mostly for my guild. The guild is very satisfying, it wouldn't be the same without it. Neopets eats up a lot of my online time.
Subeta: The place I go to play.. and to talk about things that can't be talked about with strangers anywhere else. :P I love how we can talk about anything there. Religion, politics, gender issues.. It's all good. :) I'm using it as a therapy place, LOL, a place to talk. :P I love getting stuff for my HA. Trying not to let it take up too much of my online time.
FBook: Playing around too much on there, trying to cut down. x.x Can't post anything too personal on there, there's too many people that I know in real life that I don't want to shock. Also, FB has had questionable morals in the past, so you never know what they might do next. It eats up a large part of my online time currently.. x.x If any of you on my friends list here want to add me, lemme know. I'll let you know how to find me in private. :)
TwinSkies: I signed up, but I have a deep mistrust of it due to neopets and I don't like their graphics, but I do LOVE the music to the games. :) I sign in there daily to play a quick game and then I'm off again. Also.. Doesn't it say that they're likely to make it a pay site later on? 0.0
Overall.. I don't want to have this much of my time eaten up by games. I suppose I need to stop being a libra and make a decision about what I want to keep.. but you know how that goes. I've tried to make the decision before. :P Maybe I'll manage to cut down on something soonish...
current mood: tired
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| Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
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10:02 pm - Passing it on - prop 8
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If this works then this will be my very first embedded youtube posting on LJ. :P
Many thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lordandrei, who introduced it to me. :)
Not sure if I should post up any warnings about it or not, LOL.... :D It's about prop 8, you probably know what to expect. YAY for love, NAY for second class citizenship! :)
And no, I'm not likely to feel like debating it with anyone. :)
current mood: encouraged
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9:15 pm - Meeeeeme!
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If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I was there for?
Answer me, then post this in your own journal to see how many different crimes you get accused of committing.
Can't believe I haven't done a meme in ages. :P Feels weird. Need to do some quizzes too, dangnabbit!! :o
current mood: cheerful
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8:46 pm - So guilty.. oh so guilty!!
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I'm doing that terrible guilt thing. :P
It started off with me not posting a lot and missing many days of reading people's journals.. which made me feel some guilt, but I figured hey, I can make it up later!
Then days went by, weeks went by, and no making up. The guilt grew. I figured "I really need to do this, I should go and post and read, but.. maybe I'll do this other thing first." When in doubt - avoid. :P
So, now with a heap of guilt weighing on me I've had to stop avoiding this place and see what I can do about reading / posting. I somehow got out of the loop of posting, which really sucks 'cos I like to keep this journal as a way to look back and remember what went on in previous months. My memory sucks, so I need this to help me remember, LOL. :P
Anyway...
Nothing much new in my life that I can post freely about, so instead I'll post this.
I've recently posted a new drawing to my DA account. A terrible sheep sacrifice drawing. x.0
http://yayjennies.deviantart.com/art/Blood-Sheep-Sacrifice-102641843
There. Yep. :)
current mood: cheerful
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| Thursday, September 25th, 2008
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8:22 am - *wave* Forget me..?
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Nope, I haven't been taken by the pixies just yet.. :P
And no, I haven't forgotten about all of you. :)
It takes ages to get things done on this unbelievably slow computer. There's something wrong with it, not sure what. Apparently it claims our CMOS battery is low on energy? We've only had the computer for.. about a year? Odd. We've ran defrags, virus scans, adware scans.. It's slow, it stalls, it takes ages to get my daily neopet/subeta things done, let alone get enough time to comfortably sit and write things.. and ohh I do have things to write. Some things I'm not sure I want to record in a place like this, but on the other hand I'll go crazy if I keep it all inside.
Generally about life.. Studies have started up again, I need to figure out what to do for next year, will have to actually do tax papers this year - EEK!, and I'm still living with my boyfriend and we're pondering how we could pull off moving to England at some point in the future. :)
current mood: optimistic
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| Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008
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7:49 pm - Life :)
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Ok, quick update. :)
It's the last week of my vacation in England, I am SO not looking forward to going home. I could stay for months more, it feels good here, I can talk to strangers, I have a chance to breathe.. I like it here! I want to take steps towards moving here at least temporarily.
No job still, although I did do a temporary translation job. Still going back and forth between deciding between doing my own business or desperately finding some job, any job, somewhere.
And note to self.. Must check out this place later - http://thefairysociety.ning.com/ ...
Seems it's some sort of gathering place of people who do faerie things.
The trip to England has been great, we've been staying in different places.. Egham, Easton, Churchinford.. From this place in Easton I can see the Glatonbury Tor at a distance. :) We've taken a ride on a steam train, went to hunt for fossils in Lyme Regis, we've gone to a church service done by Peter's mum, seen two Gilbert and Sullivan plays (jazzed up version of the Mikado and classical Pirates of Penzance), and we've enjoyed watching wild cutie bunnies on the lawn. :D
current mood: grateful
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| Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
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5:25 am - The worries of daily life
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Ok, updates..
Need a summer job to ensure that I will have enough to live on during the next winter. No luck yet, mostly due to me having immense fears about even applying to jobs that require a lot of interaction in Finnish. I'm crap at it, it causes me loads of anxiety, and sooner or later someone's going to be mean about it, so I worry and.. yeah, not the way to get a job. :P
If I don't find a job then I can go ahead and try to make my business work, that would be great, but on the other hand that's extremely unstable, it would be great to stop living in poverty for just a while! x.x I hate having to plan buying things, can't just go out for some casual shopping, every bit of shopping has that infernal "if I buy this, how much will I have left for the rest of the month to buy food with?"
We're flying to England at the end of this month, staying for most of April, so I'm hoping that will give me time off from all this mess to find myself again and working on drawings and the like. :)
Neopets is being the usual - we have this 11 year old at my guild's ad board that gets angry and starts reporting people really easily, yet after all that and insults (and frankly, being an annoying little kid, talking about how she loves her boyfriend forever, the one she barely talks with and didn't have the guts to ask for a relationship, two others had to do that for her), she still doesn't get that we just can't be friends with her, it's too huge of a risk and OH the drama.. but she won't leave. Of course she won't. And since it's neopets, we're stuck with her. At least for now.
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| Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
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1:20 am - Kind of pissed off.. :P
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Operation Prioritize is in motion! Too many communities, too many people, too much of everything.. I tend to BITE now when people start poking me about something not working or hasn't been updated and yadayada (not personal things, but communities). I am thoroughly tired of being the one that has to revitalize communities, get people into action, advertise, chat, post longer messages, etc etc etc.. No more.
Operation Prioritize:
- Get OFF council at the adult avatar guild and get someone as replacement. This means making sure the guild has a plan, advertising like mad for a while, and then step off council. If any of you TOPS people are looking for a small guild where you can take on more responsibility, I have a guild for you. :P
- Make it clear to the people at the subeta cult that like I said in the beginning, I am NOT going to take responsibility for the cult. I'm tired of being the only one sending out items for the members and remembering to bump the ad board and being one of the few that goes there to post. Enough!
And yeah, those are basically the two places bugging the hell out of me. I don't have the time to RUN 4 communities. -.- And what do people do? They complain and do NOTHING themselves. The free ride is over, people! Time to get on your feet and stop hitching a ride on my back!
Also, this is why I haven't been able to get much time for the plot and for TOPS chats. Too many fricken admin things to get done all the time.
Click here to create your own painting.
Hmm! Interesting. ;)
current mood: frustrated
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| Friday, November 30th, 2007
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2:49 pm - I cheated.. :P
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| Monday, October 22nd, 2007
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1:51 am - My 27th birthday today... :D
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I had planned this uber great thing with me writing a proper journal entry, stopping by the TOPS board, chatting in various places, sending out small little gifts, thanking people for their gifts and grats on the day in question... aaand here I am at 2 am, barely awake to write an entry and I'm struggling through dailies, so it looks like I'll have to do the mailing tomorrow. I am constantly amazed at the things people think of sending over.. :D Small gifts, great gifts, all so thoughtful!! :D It's really made my day, you know.. :) It may seem small to some, that an image has ben sent over to my account on a silly website, but.. it makes me feel so warm inside, oh so warm! And that's why I wanted to thank everyone and send out some small gifts myself, wanting to share that emotion.. Tomorrow, I guess.. :) There's time tomorrow..
Thank you... :)
current mood: grateful
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Dear Santa...